What gives you more happiness, giving something or taking something? Most people would answer that we would be more happy if we were giving something.
Imagine this scenario:
Version 1: John has been waiting for two hours under the hot sun and David gives him a lift or;
Version 2: John gives a lift to David who is standing under the hot sun.
In the first version John is a taker and in the next version John is a giver.
Which instance will make John happier? giving the lift or taking the lift?
In both the viewpoints there are three parties i.e.
two active parties and
one passive party.
Active party is someone who is in control and can make a voluntary decision and a passive party can only have a desire and is not in control.
Let’s look at which role is played by whom.
The three roles are:
- The giver (the one who chooses) is the active party,
- The receiver (the one who needs help) is the passive party and
- And the universe (or fate, or God—whatever you believe in) is the active party.
Let’s refine this further:
When John is taking the lift then who are the active parties and who is the passive party?
David and God are the active parties. From John’s point of view, David is stopping the car and the universe is playing an active role as well. John is the passive one. No matter how vigorously he waves his hand to stop a car, he is not actually in control of the outcome.
When John is giving the lift then who are the active parties and who is the passive party?
John and David are the active parties. From John’s point of view, he is choosing to stop the car and there is somebody who is actively asking for a lift. But here in this case, God is passive! John is in total control of his actions.
Why giving makes you happier:
1. When giving, you are in control
When John was a taker he had a requirement which had to be met. He had absolutely no control of the outcome other than expressing his requirement. When John was the giver he was in control and he chose to stop the car. A person is happy when he is in control of any situation.
2. Not giving doesn’t make a difference in our life when we are not aware of the need
When John was the taker and if David had not stopped the car, it would have made a difference in John’s life. When John was the giver and David had not asked for the lift, there would have never been a requirement. John would have moved on with his life without any difference.
3. Giving can bring only happiness
When David asks for a lift and John is the giver, the only difference that it makes in John’s life is he gets the pure joy of doing a good deed.
Give more and be happy!
When you give spontaneously, without any expectation of return or reward; you are a true giver and… you become a taker – of abundant happiness!